Well, it turns out I stop breathing about 24 times and hour, and when I do stop, I must wake up in order to start breathing again. Since I am not dead, that means I wake up a lot. A whole lot.
To sum it all up, I haven't had a good night sleep in 10 years. Seriously.
Well, that will soon change. I have been fitted this this contraption:
My significant other calls it my "snorkel." I kind of like that better than C-pap -- which is just way to close to "pap smear."
The problem is: I can't get it to stay on my head during the night. Last night, I ended up with it tangled up around my neck.
I will try again tonight, but I might have to maneuver some sort of chin strap or something of that nature.
Tips are much appreciated.
On a happier note, I have joined the Winona Adult Tennis League. Yep, I sure did.
Actually, I really said yes because I was so excited that someone wanted me on their team! I mean all of my insecurities that stemmed from all those years of gym class was instantly squashed as soon as I was asked.
I guess I was so thrilled, I completely forgot that I had no idea how to play tennis, and I hate exercise.
After my first couple of practices, I discovered a couple things.
1. I should probably invest in one of those portable defibrillator machines -- just in case.
2. There are some seriously cute tennis accessories out there.
3. I have little to no hand-eye coordination.
4. You really can throw your back out by missing the ball.
5. I probably won't be asked to join the team after they see how utterly sad I am on the court.
6. Those can't-you-get-a-better-job-for-yourselves-? net boys are completely underrated. After chasing tennis balls around for hours, I was pooped. Okay, honestly, I wanted to fall out in the middle of the parking lot. I mean, it hurt to break on the way home.
I will keep you informed of my progress, but don't expect miracles. I am not expecting to win much of anything on the court.
